A Spiritual Look at Trauma
A Spiritual Look at Trauma
Between the two of us, my dog and I have experienced 2 dog bites and 4 separate dog attacks, despite these happenings I thought I was okay. And perhaps I was within the confines of the mind, but our bodies remember. “the energy just doesn't go away—it gets locked very deeply in the body. That’s the key. It gets locked in the muscles.” (Peter Levine, Ph. D.).
Recently while at the beach a large dog was walking off leash. As the dog and its owner slowly approached, I noticed arousal feelings— suddenly I found myself in a hyper-alert state of fear. The fear instantly took over my whole being. I left the beach abruptly, in an attempt to avoid a full blown panic attack.
Later while reflecting I just knew there had to be a way to gain some lasting relief. I forged ahead in search for support, filled with a sense of hopefulness inside. I consumed books, blogs, talks, and such … discovering the intricacies of navigating symptoms of trauma. My favorite author quickly became the Father of Trauma himself, founder of Somatic Experiencing Peter Levine, Ph.D. I completed two of his audio books in one day. The books have been instrumental in helping me begin to grasp the nature of traumas and how awareness, loving kindness, and compassion have the power to restore homeostasis. I have come to understand that having a devoted spiritual practice eases the process of facing trauma.
In one of the Youtube videos, Dr. Levine mentioned the term “shamanic soul retrieval” which struck a chord with me. Eagerly I began searching for its meaning. I discovered a sacred and beautiful lifetime practice led by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche (teacher of Bon Tibetan religious tradition as well as the founder and spiritual director of Ligmincha International).
My initial experience with this practice was incredibly moving. I experienced a sense of peace and expansion.. it’s as if the energy behind the practice nourishes body, mind, and soul. Through this practice I noticed a readiness to rawly look into the traumas … curiously I began to ask for deeper understanding. I affirmed that I was ready and open to see trauma in a different light.
Personally speaking it has been humbling to see validity in such traumatic occurrences.
The traumas as well as the path of coping with trauma has commanded me to own parts of myself that I had unconsciously judged and disowned. Particularly the human part that has a latent capacity to harm or even kill when facing what is believed to be a life threatening situation.
I am learning to harness and accept that we are more powerful than our minds can comprehend. Additionally, I believe that I am being asked to let go, trust in an unseen realm, and have faith. However, it must be noted that without a connection with deeper Truth, letting go could feel somewhat impossible. Hence the beauty of having a well established practice of meditation. I heard Jason Silva speak about taking a free diving course and he said the instructor spoken to the students about, “ Finding your center amidst the storm of anxiety and panic that tends to hijack the body mind when you hold your breath.” And my spiritual teacher Adyashanti once shared a similar notion, “To try and let go before connecting with deeper truth is very difficult. to let go once you connect with deeper truth is easy. You have to connect with that truth that allows you to surrender …When you connect with deeper truth, then surrendering is almost automatic.” (best friend of mind). They are both speaking to connecting to our center, that still space discoverable inside.
The most helpful piece of wisdom that I have gathered through my search is learning to notice and recognize when the body is entering into an arousal state. People who are stuck in trauma tend to avoid any and all arousal states, and this perpetuates the cycle of maladaptive coping. We must learn to gently make space for our bodies to be in that state, so that the energy can be released. Also keep in mind, there are happy, fun, and joyful arousal states and if we suffer in silence with our traumas …. we will miss opportunities to experience the fullness of living.
The last thing that greatly helped was a therapy session that I booked with trauma therapist Inge Sengelmann with Embody Your Life. Our session began quickly, a single session truly shifted my awareness. Immediately, I began to notice and trust the innate wisdom of the body. I have committed myself to sharpening the skills of listening the the body and its intelligent cues. The body has overt and delicate ways of communicating with us, prior to fear (or the flight or fight) response. Through active listening we come to recognize the body’s infinite ways of communicating potential and real disharmony.
A month has passed and I visited the beach again. This time was different. I had one month of armamentarium ready and loaded. I was physically, mentally, and spiritually armored. I thought I was ready and of course the universe did not fail to test my novice skills.
I humbly feel I failed the first test. A woman with a black pit bull mix came walking toward me. Her dog was on a leash, I began to feel my whole body resisting and tightening. I tried grounding, but in all sincerity I had lost the battle simply from my ongoing fears and long standing held beliefs of this particular breed. I walked to an area where I felt safe and metaphorically licked my wounds with the tenderest compassion I could muster.
The next day, on the beach again. I was determined to stay open to all lessons and learnings. Besides my family there were only two other people on the whole beach, but guess what they had —a huge furry dog. The dog was leashed and they approached slowly. I began to actively root my thoughts into trusting. I kept gazing toward the sun, connecting with its Light. I was returning the attention to that space inside all of us where there is no separate self … (our deeper truth).
As my journey unfolds, I am beginning to clearly see ways of empowering myself as well as choices. I can continue to make past dark filled happenings the focus of my life or I can see that they have come to reveal invaluable lessons … painful lessons nonetheless, but growth. These are the gifts of trauma that I have come to understanding thus far on this journey.
Trauma Gifts:
Listen to the body, it recognizes the signs of arousal and begin to find your center
When resistance within the body is first noticed, begin to follow the natural soothing rhythm of the breath
Stay curious, listen and ask, “What are the cues that your individual body gives when you experience fear, arousal, and overwhelm?”
Ground yourself by connecting with surroundings : find something pleasant in the environment and continue to connect with it … use it as a touchstone
Lean into trusting that the universe has your back
Notice the minds tendency to replay past traumatic scenarios, lovingly invite the mind to be open to new and different possibilities or outcome
Use discernment, but know that desires to control the environment has everything to do with the survival instinct
Thoughts matter
Think and plan ahead —ask yourself questions such as, “When I notice overwhelm, what are some of the ways in which I will invite change to come in?”
Know that working with a trauma therapist helps bring about healing and change
And ultimately, am I capable of fully surrendering? Am I able to let go into the abyss? Can I practice single-pointed focusing? Am I able to return again and again to that space that resides inside all of us that is discoverable through stillness and meditation?
It is our birthright to enjoy life. It is not given to us just because we are born it is cultivated through awareness of our repetitive thoughts, an ability to share compassionate with all (including the self), a willingness to rest our faith in an unseen intelligence, as well as live and follow divine laws …
“Your mind is the cause of your bondage. And your mind is the cause of your liberation.” A quote from ancient Hindu text
All of our trauma experiences, symptoms, and paths toward healing are infinitely different. Please trust your own inner knowing and never be afraid to seek professional help.
Mala collective
ADDITIONAL READING
“Anyone who has experienced intense trauma in their lives can have a tendency to disassociate. It’s just a protective pattern that got put in place long ago—and for a good reason. So when you start to feel a little disassociated, gently and kindly remind your body that you aren’t going to hurt it and that it is not in any actual danger. Then kindly and gently encourage your attention to rest in present time experience. It all needs to be done very gently and kindly because your body needs to know that it can trust you.
The more your body realizes that it can trust you, the more it will allow your attention to remain connected and present. And by doing so, you are literally rewriting the script that got put in place at the time of the trauma. You could say that you are updating your program into the present time, into who you are now.”
“A Revolution of Being: Embracing the Challenge of Awakened Living” 2018 Online Retreat
Feeling at Home in Your body | An Interview with Adyashanti
Lastly I am sharing an article I came across that invites us to see trauma in a beautiful light. I am open to this article and found it helpful to say the least, it shifted my perspective even more profoundly.
Eclipsed by Fear: Transforming Trauma into Sudden Awakening Author: Brian Theriault
